By Blythe Baird
When recovery is not all yoga mats
and tea and avocados, it is work.
It is listening to your body rather
than pretending not to hear her.
It is waking up so hungry, you are
nauseous, but swallowing breakfast
anyways. It is taking an hour to eat a
snack. It is your stomach throwing a
tantrum and telling the acidic voice
in your head she has the wrong address.
Trying to ignore the caloric calculator in my head is like trying to ignore television subtitles.
Every time you asked if I was full, I heard you say fat, and I’m trying, trying so hard not to do that.
This is teaching my body how to forgive.
This is teaching my brain how to apologize.