Achieving Closure

 By Hal Sirowitz

You’re both trying to achieve closure
in this relationship, my therapist said.
You want to marry her. She wants
to break up with you. And I think
she’s going to prevail, because
it’s a lot easier for her to break up
with you than it is for you
to marry her. You’ll have to buy her
a ring, go for a blood test, & get
both families involved. All she has
to do is not see you again. And
it seems like she has already started doing that.

The End

By Hal Sirowitz

In the beginning, father said,
God created the universe.

 Notice how He hadn’t ended it,
yet. That’s in Bible Two. Hopefully,

 that version will come out after
we are dead. So don’t worry about

 the end of the world. God spent
a lot of time creating it – a week

 of hard labor. God will end it
when He’s ready. Whether He

 does it by the old way – flooding –
or tnhrough some kind of big bang,

 doesn’t matter as long as we don’t
have to watch Him do it

My Thoughtful Son

By Hal Sirowitz

I can't kill myself, Mother said,
because it's prohibited by Jewish law,
so I'm relying on you to do it for me,
& you've been doing a good job. You
already took a few days off my life
when you got mud on your shoes,
& left a trail of mud all over the house. I had
to get on my knees to scrub the floor,
& I thought to myself, My son is
only trying to be kind, he's shortening
my life so I won't have to worry
about old age, but if he really cared
about me, he'd put an end to me right now.

Lending Out Books

By Hal Sirowitz

You’re always giving, my therapist said.
You have to learn how to take. Whenever
you meet a woman, the first thing you do
is lend her your books. You think she’ll
have to see you again in order to return them.
But what happens is, she doesn’t have the time
to read them, & she’s afraid if she sees you again
you’ll expect her to talk about them, & will
want to lend her even more. So she
cancels the date. You end up losing
a lot of books. You should borrow hers.

Why God Created Eve

By Hal Sirowitz

In the Bible God created
a companion for Adam --
Eve -- to keep Adam from being
lonely, Father said. If it was
such a great idea how come
He didn’t create one for Himself?
That was what went through my mind
while your mother was yelling at me
for not putting the pickles back
into the refrigerator. But they were
already sour. Letting them stay
at room temperature could not have
made them taste worse. Later,
when she served the cake, & there
wasn’t enough for everyone & she
didn’t give herself any I was ready
to forgive her until she started
to eat mine. It made me think
God may have created Eve
for the same reason the TV
needed to be invented -- He
wanted to make sure He always
had something entertaining to watch.

Crumbs

By Hal Sirowitz

Don't eat any more food in your room,
Mother said. You'll get more bugs.
They depend on people like you.
Otherwise, they would starve.
But who do you want to make happy,
your mother or a bunch of ants?
What have they done for you?
Nothing. They have no feelings.
They'll eat your candy. Yet
you treat them better than you treat me.
You keep feeding them.
But you never offer me anything.